Hates today

so today sucks. first of all, i put an offer to a condo at 18 yorkville and the landlord is being so unco operative and wont change any of the clauses or accept my offer. So this means its back to the drawing board and i WISH that people would just not be so difficult sometimes.
SO, halloween. even tho its going to suck since everything sucks right now...I finally decided that I am still going to be anna nicole smith. mainly bc the outfit is the easiest and now i have an excuse to get my hair curled which i love doing. i guess going out and getting smashed is also a good thing when you feel like shit. here is what i dont understand..people who dont drink at all. what do they do when they are upset? do they go to the gym? bc i do that too and it helps but not as much as going out with friends, having a few cocktails, getting drunk and saying things like "yeah fuck that! i dont even CARE about that fuck it!" i mean clearly i do care and ill care in the morning but at least for a few hours i stopped caring. even though its more liquid courage than anything else. but maybe these sober sally's have something...bc they feel better through other means, and maybe it lasts? perhaps they have learned to be more carefree and not rely on anything/anyone but themselves. ive tried to take up sobriety and it just wasnt in the cards. i need my red every once in a while and possibly my clear, possibly my bubbly. you know what im saying. so, given that im upset right now im going to go back to my age old mantra "I hate my life" and have a few cocktails. although i wish i was the non alchohol drinking chick who could go to yoga or the gym or have a wheat grass shot sit down meditate and say "this too shall pass" become one with something like the universe or a catterpiller whatever it is they do and then move the fuck on for real. because this sucks. oh well, see you at the bar!! FUCK ME.