Rehab remix with J. timberlake

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWqvMtSga8M

Justin Timberlake is so hot. jesus.

Britnayyy

Hey ya'll! sooo anyone who knows me knows about my lil obsession with a certain celebrity pop star princess...Miss Spears herself! I've had this obsession since I was about..13, when her first song came out and I fell in love. I might have a slight lesbian crush on the lady. I love her, I don't care how psycho she is, she always rises up! Her strength and adversity throughout all the shit in her life should also be something that inspires people that they too can get out of shit in their life and rise above it and get it together! She might not be Maya Angelou or Hilary Clinton but I think she is great, minus her public displays of...vajayjay. She is still incredible. Anyways, I am super excited because her new album is going to be out on Tuesday! I will definitely be at HMV first thing to pick that beauty up! Note to readers: judge me all you want for loving Britney Spears, her tunes are addictive and are great to listen to as upbeat songs to put you in a better mood, to dance to around in your condo in your bikini, or listen to at Bellair Tan (Thanks Corey haha) while you are bronzing your hot bod. So, before you write me off as some pop star obsessed lil blonde with no brain, remember, I have all kinds of music tastes that range from Kings of Leon to Marvin Gaye to Frank Sinatra to Britney Spears. She just happens to be someone who I think is great and I would NEVER judge someone because they liked to listen to some bubble gum smacking, lip gloss wearing cute blonde belting out lyrics you can bounce to that make you feel good about yourself. Anyways check out the link to "Amnesia" below, one of her singles off the new album Circus. And, yes, you will hear it in my car, in my condo, on my ipod, and I will probably request it when I go to your house ;) Cheers to pop stars!!!!

Do I still got time to grow...

Let me know
Do I still got time to grow
Things ain't always set in stone
That be known, Let me know
Let me

Seems like
Street lights, glowing
Happen to be just like moments
Passing, in front of me
So I hopped in
The cab and
I paid my fairs
See I know my, destination
But I'm just not there

All the street lights, glowing
Happen to be just like moments
Passing, in front of me
So I hopped in
The cab and
I paid my fairs
See I know my, destination
But I'm just not there

In the streets

I'm just not there
In the streets
I'm just not there
Life's just not fair

Seems like
Street lights, glowing
Happen to be just like moments
Passing, in front of me
So I hopped in
The cab and
I paid my fairs
See I know my, destination
But I'm just not there

All the street lights, glowing
Happen to be just like moments
Passing, in front of me
So I hopped in
The cab and
I paid my fairs
See I know my, destination
But I'm just not there

All the street lights, glowing
Happen to be just like moments
Passing, in front of me
So I hopped in
The cab and
I paid my fairs
See I know my, destination
But I'm just not there

In the streets

I'm just not there
In the streets
Im just not there
Life's just not fair
Life's just not fair

Watch IT:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ac4SUH14A0

Loves snowflakes but...

check it out...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzNEgcqWDG4

It's been a while

Someone, somewhere, once told me that saying a goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again. What about if saying goodbye is painful but saying hello again would be even worse than that? Jean Paul Richter said that we should never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in this life. However, what if the loving words were long gone and in the past and all you could do was say the most horrible things to each other? What if the pair of you had such bitterness between you and such hate that none of these things were possible? Its a sad thing when the hill of the relationship has become so steep that making your way up again is completely and utterly impossible. Its even worse when the other person has made it quite steep on their own accord. I guess fate ordains that even the closest of people will eventually have to part. Today I heard a song on the radio I haven't heard in years that I used to love when I was about 10 years old, Amanda Marshall's "Birmingham." I never really understood it back then. I got home and looked it up on youtube and saw the video again. Abusive relationships and a girl trying to get out of it, and succeeding. Good for her. Maybe me liking this type of song back when I was 10 years old was almost a foreshadow to the future. It was kind of odd that I heard the song today of all days on the radio after whats happened the last few days. One of the quotes from the song is "She's never been so all alone, she's never felt so free." I think that exact line pretty much describes me the last couple of months. I never expected anything like this to happen to me, but it had to, and I know that there is a reason for it somewhere and somehow. I wont know until that time comes and hopefully the struggle, tears, anxiety, and deep hurt will have been worth it somehow. Anyways, to all the girls out there just like me and in the same situation..I hope you will be okay and I hope that I will be too. There is so much out there that the world has to offer and we should focus on the positives and not the negatives which we have gone through at the hands of another. I continue to have hope, faith, and love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaxX8AsmbYw

Pounding hearts.

I'm awake because of my pounding heart and throbbing head. More on concussions later. But...I really love a certain artist lately, totally random Marilyn Manson...he's great...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pdf1Q5__uvg

check it. dope show, beautiful people, and tainted love are also great...

To my candle flames

Well, hospitals are my least favorite place in the world. No good can come from them unless its a newborn.

What a crazy week!

Here's to the night. I'm speechless and really anyone who is my real friend and reads this will know why. I dont really have to say anything to you guys except for a big Thank you. Thank you for understanding, supporting, encouraging, motivating, believing, and having faith in me. If I doubted any of you ever I am deeply sorry. You guys, you REAL guys are all great. You are so special and a huge part of my life, which I may not have noticed until this week and all its craziness but seriously, if I was good to go I'd buy all of you a round...in some exotic destination on the beach. LOL. Anyways, really truly from the bottom of my heart thank you a thousand times, hearts, love, kisses, smiles, hugs, sparkles, sunshine, joy, happiness, laughter, cupcakes, sprinkles, candles with big bright flames. You guys light up my life, you are my flames, and you are awesome.

Egészégedre xoxoxox

In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.

The Skulls

Skulls is on TV right now. Aside from both Joshua Jackson and Paul Walker's extreme hotness..I am attracted to the fact it was filmed at my alma mater, Trinity College.
There was always rumors about this cult actually existing within my college..so here's my question...where is MY initiation??? Come on guys, lets get this shit show on the road!!!!!!
Update:
still sick..starting cleanse tomorrow..hopefully it helps?

Two lost souls swimmin in a fish bowl..same old fears, wish u were here...

so the psycho girl train struck again last night, although this was an especially psycho one. who calls someone randomly at 3am???? fucking psssyyychooooo. needless to say it was dealt with but really ladies i think its time to grow up. from now on if anyone even causes a smidgen of drama in my life they are cut. for good. no more second chances or lets try to make up, u are gone from my life. so please, if u hate me, try to cause some drama and ill make sure we will NEVER see each other again! and it is NO skin off my back thats for sure! so to the psycho horseface who tried to cause shit last night....cheers bitch. move the fuck on.

i realize the above statement was harsh but it was much needed.
anyways i am still sick and trying to get well but i love the snow tonight its pretty beautiful! :) i cannot wait to move and have my view back slash start to do things that make a positive impact on my life. only good karma around me please.

I want to use this post to also say a farewell to my best friend, who left back to LA again for a happier life. She got sucked in to the vortex that is Toronto and quickly got herself out so bravo and bisous to her. I hope she is always happy and although I will miss her I wish her all the best. Her visit was short, but sweet for certain and Mich...we are still soulmates! I love you to death. I dedicate Pink Floyd..wish you were here...just to you. SOON we'll see eachother again and i know u are always with me anyways no matter what. many kisses.

All you need is...

How about a round of applause? A standing ovation?

I am now an official law student.

and sick with the flu :(


1 for 1 right? But I think the first one takes the cake. The second one, means I'm off to go make some tea and eat some oranges. BUT really quickly before the healing beings...

Bravo to me. And SMILES!!!! :):):)

:)

Anyone who has been reading my blog (and I doubt that many people are but just in case HAHA) will have probably noticed the general theme behind it. Its called Jacqueline is trying to get it together. In the name of that, I'd like to take a bow for FINALLY finishing all the shit today that needed to be accomplished in order for me to take a huge step forward in this plan. So, today lots happened!!! First and foremost, I got the keys to my new place! Which means I can start moving in and it wont be pushed back anymore! It was getting annoying! anyways, thats accomplished. also, even though i accepted the offer to U of T for grad school I have been battling this decision in the back of my head the last two weeks, is it right? is it really going to get me where I want to go? Well, the answer is that this doubtful indecisiveness was the result of my gut feelings! Needless to say I decided to follow them when I checked my u of t email account, which has remained untouched for the last...ohhh 6 months lol. Anyways, I recieved an email from an old prof of mine who taught one of the grad courses I took during my undergraduate career (I used it to fulfill my seminar requirement and for all those debating this option...I highly recommend to re think it haha i spent the better part of my last year in the library!) anyways, he was emailing me from his new place of work at the University of Munich in Germany. He emailed me about a month ago to ask if he could use my essay on Hiedegger I wrote for him in the semi annual philosophy journal the university puts out. Of course, this was insane! I have had my essays published before but this of course has been limited to the University of Toronto journals, contraposto (also part of the u of t FAH dept), and a small fine art booklet in an art gallery in yorkville i wrote during my internship there in regard to the correlation between canadian and european art, etc. etc. SO, this new surprise totally inspired me and I wrote back to him immediatly and thank god the deadline has not yet come and gone and therefore, my wonderful essay will be published...internationally!!!!! This is huge for me and a huge confidence booster. Anyways, it inspired me to seek something else out of life. That is, to go towards a new direction! I will still be doing a masters however it will be in a different area of study, and I'm excited to be a part of it! its great! I guess all those times I wished on a falling star or fallen eyelash have maybe paid off? hahah hopefully my other wishes will also come true.
imagine if it was true that in life we really were allowed only three REAL wishes. ones that would come true 100% but u could only have 3. Now, dont think about this as a fairytale, this is real life kids, 3 full out will definitly come true wishes. What would yours be? Today I was thinking about that and what mine would be. I have one that is a for sure, but I will not share...because everyone knows that you can't tell people your wishes or they for sure wont come true! Think about it though, it helps prioritize, as long as they aren't silly like i want to own an island in fiji and lay on the beach drunk all day and tattoo my body with different coloured dolphins and teach mermaids to surf. Make real wishes that reflect what you truly want and are based on reality and realistic situations that could happen in your life. Now, once you have done that...make those wishes goals, then make those goals happen. Easier said then done right? Nahh, you just have to reach for the stars to be truly happy and trust me its worth it.
So, I've found that playing the guitar is actually rather quite relaxing. I only know like 1.3 songs lol but thats okay I just fool around on it and I love it. I can't wait till I can start learning more and more. Soon I'll be the next Janis Joplin...just you wait my Summertime is coming out soon, to an HMV near you! haha! I also plan on buying a canvas and some paint so I can begin to paint again, this of course will only happen once I move since everything is crazy in my place right now but I think it will be another great addition to the schedule hahaha! Well, my neck is killing me and I am in hardcore need of some yoga slash major stretches. So I'm off but not without sending tons of good wishes, hearts, smiles, and kisses, and hugs, ohhhh and of course gingerbread because tis the season after all, right? =) goodnight kids.

Doing things Differently

Fortune favors the brave. So who would have thought that my plight to become a better person, thereby changing everything about my life, would also involve me becoming more fortunate than I already am? Either someone is reading this blog or I am just one of the select few to be able to say that I actually am special.
I do believe that when I changed my life, accepted certain offers, changed some, and threw others out the door that I was "brave." It takes a courageous person to come to terms with the fact that I may face some extremely hard times in the future all for the sake of the long run. The end justifies the means right? I accepted the offer to grad school and as it turns out, there is someone watching my every move. Because of this acceptance I received a rather thrilling phone call this evening, albeit interesting, questionable, and down right confusing. My mysterious phone call ended up in me becoming part of something even larger than I ever thought possible. Plans are still the same, however much greater and I cannot wait for life to move forward even more. I wanted independence and freedom and success and now I am getting all three and more. Bravo to Sunday. Changed my life.

Enough mysterious banter, last night I celebrated my mothers bday with my great friends and her. She had a fabulous time and thanks to everyone who came! I dont think I have ever met someone who didnt think my mom was fabulous and you guys made her day last night so thank you for that, she was so happy. Although, I think I drank too much. I guess its okay if it was in the name of the woman who is the reason I'm alive! However, I guess now with everything going on it was also a farewell to the booze bus. Its a worthwhile trade! The next few days will be so busy with moving and some work I'm booked for but I think in the end I will be so content, one week today things will be almost perfect in my little life. I am so tired but I'm happy to say I am still able to make a mean over easy egg, you know the over easy egg is not as easy as the name makes it out to be. You have to make sure you fip the egg without letting the yolk burst and flow all over the place creating a disgusting over easy egg. I did it twice this morning kids, thats right, I am a chef of so many talents. First, I made a lovely steak dinner the other night complete with scalloped potatoes, some great filet mignon wrapped in bacon, and an amazing asparagus and vegetable side, also of course my famous arugula salad. Then, there was my apple pie, which as you all know who tasted it, was literally a slice of heaven. This mornings pemeal bacon and over easy eggs completed this weeks round of great food cooked by yours truly. Perhaps I should open a restaurant one day in the future? lol. But seriously, I'm on fire in the kitchen! I shouldnt jinx this by bragging though so I'll shut up for now. Well, I am dead tired and off to make some chocolate chip cookies for my nephews as I'm taking care of them tomorrow and then its definitly time for bed! Until then here is a quote from the book I am reading "The Snowball: Warren Buffet and the Business of Life" he's a good friend of my father and uncle and a very interesting man to say the least. He's also hilarious and in this book he talks about the ups and downs of life, how he got through it and how he made himself who he is today.
"It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently".....you can say that again.

AGO

The AGO opens tonight...I will definitely be in attendance tomorrow night because everyone clearly knows that tonight I'm seeing James Bond, him and I have a date actually, its very hush hush. LOL Im SUCH a nerd. The AGO is opening to midnight every night this weekend AND its free admission. SO PLEASE everyone should go and appreciate art!!!! They just brought in an unreal 17th century dutch and flemish group of paintings, which showcase Boroque, also there will be a lot of French impressionist and 20th century surealist works that have been super popularized in our modern culture. I dont know anyone who cannot say that they havent heard of any one of the main french impressionist painters or someone like Goya. Rubens "Massacre of the Innocents" will also be on display which has literally been in storage for years up until now, a travesty. Also Frank Gehry's design is super inspiring and will be a pretty monumental exterior in terms of architecture in the modern world SO GO GO GO! I should be on their PR board. I just love art so much.
In other news, here's a tip for you kiddies, do NOT go mtn biking in the rain. Thats all im going to say about THAT. So tomorrow is shaping up to be fantastique...Blowfish and the AGO and perhaps a cocktail in a nice jazz bar. anyways, My broja and his troublemaking compatriote already ransacked the AGO's new restaurant Frank, before it even opened! Regardless I'm excited to see the real thing in full swing. Things are definitly looking up today, just have to remember to smile smile smile and think positive thoughts! Today I'm going to have my first eggnog latte of the season, hopefully I wont get violently ill. lol jks jks. But really its great to see that Christmas has come so quickly, its a nice time of the year when I get to see my family, who I rarely see as we are all such busy bees! Also, who doesnt like wandering the city with all the lights and decor, its very commercial but at night time can be beautiful. The MOST beautiful place in the world at Christmas, however, is Budapest, well Budapest and Vienna. Walking along the streets (vaci utca in particular) with some hot glu wine and seeing real Christmas decor that has not been manufactured in a plastics plant is so nice. They really make everything so beautiful and quaint, I hope I get to see it this year but we'll see where the holidays take me. I am dying for some Sacher Torte in Vienna, if you havent had it, please go have some the next time you are in Vienna, you will thank me! Well I am off to sweat it out at the gym and the steam room, I hope to see everyone at the AGO saturday night, the new collections are going to be fabulous and in a few years maybe I will be curating there! ohhhh lets cross our fingers, cheers to the future and all the good things its going to bring ;)

Happiness

So happy with life right now. Big things coming... :)

Positivity

Today I had a great breakfast with a great person who I rarely am able to see, my uncle Peter. Peter is such an amazing man and someone who has helped me so much over the years with everything and by chance he called me this morning at 7am and we met at the 4 seasons for a very very early breakfast (8am is early!!!). Peter is an outstanding business man, someone who gives to charity all the time, and someone who supports me in everything I do. When he found out from my parents that I was going to be going back to grad school and back to Trinity, he said he had to call me the minute he got back to Toronto. So, we chatted over eggs benedict (bravo 4 seasons, u do a great job with the breakfast egg option) and talked about positivity. If anyone has been through all the ups and downs of life its Peter, well Peter and of course my Budapest father John. They are basically one and the same though. Peter came to Canada, just like John, with nothing, and made it in to something huge. He is now an extremely successful man and I have yet to meet someone who didnt know who he was. He talked about how he was worried about me for a little while, that I was so smart and getting off course from the dreams I had once expressed to him when I was 18 before I start university. Things about law school and going to Brown ( I declined Brown's offer of admission for undergrad in order to go to U of T) and etc. He told me that he felt the same as John, that I had no faith in myself or my capabilities and I was always so insecure and negative. He said that because of this I went off on a path that he did not believe was my own, but rather the one of those around me. We talked and talked and discussed so much about the impacts of being positive on your life and how sometimes you need to make decisions that although seem scary and terrifying at the time, will lead to better things in the long run. I told him that this past weekend I had made so many decisions and changes in my life that are extremely scary, things which included changing relationships with friends I have had for years, etc. and that I didnt really know what i was doing. I told him I was so scared and unsure and he caught me again. he said "why are you always so UNSURE of yourself J?" " why do you never have faith in your decisions and your hopes and dreams" and he was right. I know that all the decisions I have made, even in the last week, are going to lead to bigger, greater, more positive things, so why am I so scared? Comfortability can sometimes equal disaster. I am comfortable with my life now, even though it is/was the most unstable existence I could have. I have also been so negative and in order to attract positive things, people, jobs, experiences in to your life, you yourself must be a positive person. Thats the law of attraction. Its funny because my mother, who just arrived to Canada for a visit to help me move, was also saying the same thing to me on the phone yesterday. Positivity breeds and attracts positivity. Also people with faith in themselves, with no negative thoughts, no doubts, no insecurities, must lead more fulfilling lives. Imagine every decision you made, you never second guessed. I am going to try to be more positive and less unsure of myself. I have now made these decisions and I really can't take any of them back. In making some of the decisions the past few days I have burned bridges, ones that can never be rebuilt but ones that would only ever eventually lead to negative things in my life. I am looking forward to building new bridges which will ultimately lead to great things. I want to live a great life, not a mediocre existance. Finding purpose, finding happiness, being positive, having faith in myself and my life, having faith in those around me, is most important. My mother is the most positive person you could meet and she has been to hell and back. she constantly attracts so much positive energy and people to her and its because of her attitude. Even negative people want to be around her to feel better about themselves. I hope, no i KNOW that one day, I will be the same.
I am so lucky to have all these great people around me, rooting for me, supporting me, telling me how proud they are no matter what. Now, if only I could support myself as well. This is my new focus and what I am going to try to work on everyday. Negative thoughts be gone! Insecurities out the window and self doubt will no longer exist. I have to have faith. But, I still will not get a tattoo devoted to it hahaha. Now, I am off to do some bikram yoga (very self empowering) and go have a lovely dinner with a lovely lady, my anyu!

New song i just learned tonight

JUST learned this one too.... LOVE LIFE!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ygIR20cjGE

If it doesnt matter in 5 years, it doesnt matter

So, that new Rihanna song "Rehab" is amazing, i love it. she's so good. Watch 34 people read this blog post and judge me for liking Rihanna because she's so "mainstream" and its not cool to like mainstream people right? I should be listening to some shitty indie band to pretend like im the cool shit. fuck it. i like this song and i like rihanna. excuse my rant but to be quite honest im done pretending or trying to be something other than what I am to please other people. Which brings me to my next point, I dont care what you think. Yes you the one standing opposite me judging me staring me up and down. You dont like it I dont give a fuck. I am never ever ever again going to try to be something I am not for someone else just so they can be happy and walk all over me and I can end up unhappy. Such a waste of time. And all you ladies out there heed my advice, this goes for how you act to please other guys. and guys, you too, there are so many bullshitters out there, you think they are fucking awesome and you pass up the real girls for the fake bullshitters who pretend so that you like them. figure it out. and stop trying to act like macho idiots who dont give a fuck about things, give it up. i see through everything and everyone. you care about things, let your guard down and dont be such jerk offs sometimes. I now laugh at all these people living fake lives, pretending to be something they are not to please other people. just be yourself, do you know how much of an impact that will have on your life?? YOU will be so much happier. fuck em all. stand up chin up and walk tall, because there are too many people out there wishin you would fall flat on your face. but dont let them get to you. be you and love that you are YOU and no one else.
also i want to start another rant about assholes who play games. games are for the primary school playground, keep them there and out of my life.
seems like i have a lot of anger doesnt it? well i dont. im just fed up and ive had that "aha!" moment where im like jesus i dont give a FUCK anymore. i think im going to call it growing up, becoming more mature. you know i still run in to highschool friends of mine (yeah, not friends, more like people i knew 5 years ago) who still can't even say hello to me or act like a normal adult because of bullshit. you guys know who u are and you should definitly grow the fuck up. say hi to me, be cordial at least. i just laugh at you idiots now, seriously, i try hard to be nice to everyone i meet, no matter what so why can't u just be pleasant for 5 minutes?
its so crazy how things that used to matter so much to me, dont at all anymore. is this part of my huge change? i sure as shit hope so. because its making my life easier day by day. literally, things i was upset about as early as last week i dont even mind anymore. a huge thing for example that was a huge stress for a bit, i dont even care about it anymore. its a shrug and a giggle and i think that its not worth getting upset over. life is too short to hold on to things and make them big deals when in 5 years you wont even remember it. Cher said "if it doesnt matter in 5 years, it doesnt matter." most of the bullshit i get upset about right now wont at all matter in 5 years, so fuck it. good advice Cher. thanks for that and your cool ability to look 35 even when you are 70. props to that. anyways, yesterday i had an amazing dance class with courtney, who dropped in to CDC. Thanks to all my friends who came out for it! the National Ballet of Canada was nice enough to lend their huge studio space and it was a great turnout. It was a once in a while thing and I doubt we'll have a class like that again for a while so I was lucky to be a part of it. anyways, today i signed the lease 100% for my new place looks like i am moving november 18. So a few days later than I hoped but it gives me more time to pack, which is much needed right now considering everything that is on my plate for this weekend/ next week. I start my new job on Monday, along with my gigs at CDC, tomorrow is my Milk and Honey preformance which I am extremely excited/nervous for! but will be great. also, this weekend is pretty crazy, its my buddys bday on friday, and my moms bday on saturday and she is here to help me move so were going for dinner then im off to the res lounge for a really chill night with some great people in a calm atomosphere. Can't wait for the fun. Also, a great reunion with my broski who i havn't seen for a bit which has saddened me :( ily bro. so im off for now, enough rants/updates for today hahaha anyways...see you in the movies. Love and other indoor sports...

My new Favorite Song

Baby, baby
When we first met
I never felt something so strong
You were like my lover
And my best friend
All wrapped into one
With a ribbon on it
And all of a sudden
you went and left
I didn't know how to follow
It's like a shock
That spun me around
And now my heart's dead
I feel so empty and hollow

[Pre Chorus:]
And I'll never give myself to another
The way I gave it to you
Don't even recognize
The ways you hurt me
Do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you're the one to blame

[Chorus:]
And now I feel like, oh
You're the reason
Why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke on
These cigarettes no more
I guess that's what I get
For wishful thinking
Should've never let you enter my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
Cause now I'm using like I bleed
It's like I checked into rehab
Baby you're my disease
It's like I checked into rehab
Baby you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease

[Verse 2:]
Damn,
Ain't it crazy
When you're loveswept
You'll do anything
For the one you love
'Cause anytime
That you needed me
I'd be there
It's like
You were my favorite drug
The only problem is
That you was using me
In a different way
That I was using you
But now that I know
That it's not meant to be
You gotta go
I gotta wean myself off of you...


This is my song.

THANK YOU G!!!!!

HUGE thanks to G who after ALL NIGHT has helped me learn the Doves song "Caught by the River" I have wanted to learn to play on the guitar forever..okay well not the full song but the first third....i am on my way lol. G you are unreal unreal unreal. He just left and I can't stop going over it and over it hahahaha ahhhh love it! here is a link to the song, which was featured in the OC season 1....


http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=401039756

jaj istanem

so today was a big day for little jacqueline! i went in to trinity and basically signed my life away for the next two years hahaha well not really, but i did accept the offer to grad school. Back with my old alma mater too, im a trin girl for sure hahaha! where is this infamous trinity skulls group that is supposed to give me unreal social and business connections? come on guys make me recite some weirdo oath and teach me to speak in some crazy language! So, that being said for the next little while i really have to focus on what my thesis will be but im kind of excited to start researching, etc. we'll see what comes from all of this!
in other news a family member is very sick, which is making me really sad. I will also be out of the loop for a while as i have promised to take care of her children while she is getting the treatment she needs, so ill be surrogate mama for a bit! i actually don't mind, i love kids, especially these ones and it will be a nice change in lifestyle for me. however, illness saddens me. This is also why I love to volunteer and give to charities that are close to my heart. like Ovarian Cancer Canada. check it out, if you are reading this. its important to me and to a lot of other women out there.
I'm moving in a few days, scary/exciting/awesome!!! all three in a wonderful bundle. its crazy to see how much change not only myself but also everyone around me is going through. its great were all going through it at the same time, because its important to have friends through big changes in your life, helps you remember there is always a stable smile in a great friend. So thank you to my friends for being there for me right now :) stability in life is SO important to me and i haven't had ANY of it the last couple of years so I am hoping i am finally going in to a stage of stable life. i really need it right now. im searching out lots of things in the world to contribute to it, including people, jobs, homes, friends, etc. So i think ive covered a few things so far, we'll see how it goes..call it jacqueline's search for stability.
id also like to comment on one more thing today. it really makes me mad AND sad that people always judge me. i realize that in the past i have been a little bit out of control and wild, i realize that i have made poor decisions and allow other people to influence me. but can all of you out there who label me and tell me i lead a certain "lifestyle" honestly say that you have never made mistakes and then tried to fix them/yourself. don't you think it would do better to support me in the fact that i have already made it a public promise to become a different person. Yes, I have had slip ups, one last weekend but aside from that one i have been pretty good the past two months, i haven't gone crazy every day/night and I am on a much better track. I got in to grad school at university of toronto, have any of you? I have gotten unreal jobs lately and job offers, I have made a lot of progress in terms of my health as well as my daily life schedule and how i treat people and things in my life. i care more about myself and the others around me. so before you tell me that i am a certain person that you can for sure judge immediately, before you write me off, why don't you actually talk to me about what i have been doing lately to better myself? because its a whole hell of a lot and its fucking awesome and i don't need ANYONE assuming shit about me that's not true, especially these days. i am fucking amazing and im on a great path towards a great life and i expect GREAT things.

Twinkles in your eyes

okay so the below post = kind of harsh hahaha. whatever, i was in a mood.
Today was a wierd day, I did really well though. I got two auditions that I wanted so badly, one is for a major play so thats extremely important not only to me but for what I am trying to accomplish. Perhaps people are starting to take me more seriously. Now I am re thinking a certain contract I signed in September because I wanted so desperatley to be thought of as something which maybe, I am not after all. I think I really dont know who I am at all and thats why I try to do so many things to try to prove myself in all these different ways. Be successful at everything. My mom mentioned this to me yesterday. She told me all I want to do is win. She said sometimes I think I care about things and I get upset over them, but I dont TRULY care, I just want to win and say I won and say I was the best and I did it. Then I move on. Its partly true. Well, maybe its fully true. So, I've decided for what remains of November I am going to stop saying yes to everything and I am going to try to focus on only a few things and not spread myself so thin. I am also going to re evaluate what I think about certain aspects of my life, which includes people, places, jobs, etc. and figure out what I truly care about or what is just a competition/game/all about winning for me. Hopefully this will help. Also, Thursday is a big night, as I am singing again for the first time in a while, its only one song but it means a lot to me. I am so scared. I hope I do okay. Tomorrow I have such a busy day..my mom is coming!!! She is coming to visit and help me move. I am moving on Monday next week I believe, if I can co ordinate the elevators which will be a task and a half. I am excited to move and get out of here. This place in such a short time collected a lot of memories, some good but mostly bad and I need to get the ef out. I can't wait to move. This will be great. Things are looking up. Soon I hope to be able to say that everything is great. Wow, to be fully content with life would be awesome. To be honest, I think sometimes I purposefully sabotage things in my life that I know are going really well. I have to stop that. I also have to keep repeating the mantra "I deserve to be happy, I deserve a great life" Cheesy, but whatever. Things have to get better and they are already starting to. Cheers to Monday.

Dear You know who you are,

FUCK YOU.

the fucking end.

weekend mess.

this weekend was a mess. the end.

seriously, im not allowed to go near any form of social mingling that involves alcohol anymore.
BAD THINGS HAPPEN!!!!

in other news, i made friends with someone who I never thought I would...and I'm really happy about it. on the flip side, its time for jacquelines version of the after school special.
DO NOT under any circumstances drink to the point where you wont remember what you say to people, and then go out and say things to people. bad things will result.

Today should be a good day, I was up at 7am for some important meetings downtown. Queen street at like 830am is so calm, its amazing how an area changes so drastically just based on the time of day slash time of week. I am back home now and have a laundry list of things to do today so I will check in later. But for real kids, heed my words and take my advice, drinking and speaking to people dont mix, especially speaking to people about things that may bother you, hence you stating what you would never say while sober, but will definitely say when inebriated. I was far from a class act this weekend, and I vow to never let that happen again. ever.
I am off to the apothecary, thats right, I also now live in 1645. ciao for now babies.

A GREAT SONG

We did this song for the last week in contemporary..always loved this song so it was a great time! and no we didnt do the same dance that was in SYTYCD lol. check it out! i love it!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykW4rtW2eu0

The Secret

"THE SECRET" NOT A BIG SECRET

We all have to be overjoyed that something as powerful as "The Secret" would make it onto Oprah for at least 2 shows. Showing the effects of "The Secret" will have the same effect on the world as Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth".

KNOW THAT THE WORLD NOW HAS THE POWER TO MAKE A SHIFT IN THE WAY IT EXISTS.

If you do not know what the secret is about, then I will tell you. It is about the “LAW OF ATTRACTION”. The Law of Attraction simply says that you attract aspects, qualities and people in your life that reflect the type of person who you are.

Alcoholics attract alcoholics
Athletes attract athletes
Thieves attract thieves
People with integrity attract people with integrity
Liars attract liars
People who know how to make money attract people who know how to make money
Empathetic people attract empathetic people
Goal setters attract goal setters
People who take on sole responsibility for how their lives turn out attract the same
Complainers attract complainers
Health attracts health
Sickness attracts sickness

The list is endless. How do you know what type of person you are? Look at the people you attract in your life. Look hard at your “friends” and at your family. Are they always complaining about how their lives and work and relationships? Do they have concrete goals with dates for completion? Are they people of action?

You have to look at the quality of your friends because no one is capable of seeing themselves for who they are. The inability to see ourselves is one of nature’s tricks to make us think we are powerless while at the same time having us believe we are the best we can be.

I will venture to say that most people do not reach their potential because they do not love themselves. Because they do not love themselves they are stuck in a prison of trying to “look good”. They pretend to be who they are not and buy material items to show they are different from what they are.

The inherent problem with being a human being is that we are an integral part of nature. Nature’s game is reproduction and survival. As long as an entity lives long enough to reproduce, then nature has succeeded. Nature does not care if humans live a great life.

We have the greatest chance meeting someone in mediocrity because most humans are busy pretending to be anyone other than who they are. Two fake images meeting each other usually end up unhappy and divorced.

To understand what others think of you, you must be open to “feedback”. Specifically go to five people (including your boss) you admire and ask them the following questions:

• what can you always count on me for?
• what can you never count on me for?
• if I was to improve one thing about myself, what would that be?
• 12 people have been shipwrecked on a deserted island. There is one boat that will hold 6 people and if the 6 people work perfectly as team they have a 10% chance of survival. The people left behind will perish. Would you take me and if yes why and if not why not?

A person who has not asked for feedback is probably living a mediocre life. Mediocre people are very powerful but they are an excel spreadsheet with no instructions. With feedback you can start to develop your “manual for life” and move out of mediocrity towards greatness.

Finding yourself and hot chocolate

Life is the most fragile, unstable, unpredictable thing there is. In fact, there is only one thing about life we can be sure of, it aint over till its over.
I like that quote so I thought I'd share.
Today as predicted, I ventured down to Queen EAST to get that goddamn blood test. What was the result? Me fainting in the stupid place. Once again, they were unable to find my vein poked me about 40 thousand times, finally found one after MANY bruises and track marks that make me look like a heroine addict. However, because it took so long to find the vein there was a huge line up and so after they took the SIXTEEN, yes SIXTEEN vials of blood the woman said "okay off you go" so I stood up and what happened? I saw some spots, saw some stars, got extremely hot, went deaf and hit the floor. I think I was out for a good 2 minutes, not long but I woke up with about 4 thousand people surrounding me. I didnt want to stick around, they wanted me to go to the ER across the street at st. mikes but I just wanted to get out of there, so I stumbled out, and STUPIDLY took the subway back home. I was so dizzy when I got out of the subway I beelined it to starbucks for a hot chocolate. SUCH a good call. After that I continued my stumbling, home bound, passed out on the couch and cancelled my work for the rest of the day (aka all the classes I had to teach). Since then I've been on this couch, I had some chicken noodle soup and whatever, feeling better. Jesus. Like I said, i HATE giving blood. Something shitty always happens.
I am excited for K's bday dinner on Saturday night at Kultura and then hopefully I am heading to Orange Lounge to see Kings of Leon preform live, however, its looking like a 50/50 deal..I Hope it happens!
Anyways I can't believe its Thursday, the week has gone by really quickly and I'm happy for it but it also scares me, days go by so quickly now. My mom says as you get older time passes faster...I hope I dont miss anything. I feel like I should enjoy life/myself more. So, I am going to add to my list of to do things: have more fun. Aka I am going to enjoy the city of Toronto alot more and try to do more things that make me smile/laugh instead of sitting half dead on this couch. That means I should probably start going to sleep earlier, stop cancelling playdates with my friends, and stop saying yes to things that don't make me happy. I think thats another huge problem I have that I can now say goodbye too since my change is now happening. I constantly say yes to everything people offer. When I say that I mean jobs of course. Not sex. LOL. So, I have to stop doing that and I am actually going to stop some of the jobs I am doing right now. I have to move next week so i'll need more time anyways but I am happy with this situation. As well, I have a pretty rad (i cant believe i just said rad, i guess that did rub off on me) job interview on monday at 9am and I'm hoping to get it and if I do, then i'll be thrilled so i dont want to jinx anything but cross your fingers for me. I can't wait to find myself, and I know that sounds so cliche but its so true. I can't wait to just be happy all day for one day, have no drama, no issues, nothing that is some huge pressing matter that has to be fixed. I cant wait to be happy and content and balanced. So in a way I guess finding myself kind of means creating my own happy existence. I guess Shaw had it right?Now I have to stop wishing and start doing! I am off to have a bubble bath in the meantime complete with epson salts and a homemade hot chocolate. see you in the movies...

Bonjour!

I thought I'd practice some francais today. So here is my issue: the blood test. i HATE getting it done mostly bc i have very small veins and so it either KILLS they can't do it or they poke me about a thousand times. So I keep putting it off yet my life keeps getting worse bc i get sicker and sicker and the doc is emailing me twice a day "did u take the test? did u do it?" so i feel like after i write this blog i am going to mosy on down to queen east and try to do it. i hate it though seriously there are all these creepers there and old people in the waiting area and its gross like what if the needle is infected. i have a huge issue too bc of this movie i saw once. this kid killed this woman with a needle full of air, so im terrified of air bubbles. now my mother, who is a former neuropathologist (she worked at st. jos in the 70s when all the doctors were doing blow in the underground pathways below the hospital, thats right kids u should hear her stories), she assures me that when taking blood out it is impossible for air bubbles to go in. so thats okay. but i hate it. ugh. im going to FORCE myself to get down there after this. anyways, detox has commenced along with my gluten free lifestyle because my doc said that if i dont start to take it seriously it could end up a fatal situation. now the words fatal somehow in my brain are linked with an image of blood and a vampire. so i guess i have to take it more seriously than count chocula. no more gluten for jacqueline. in other news, ive decided to finally try bikram yoga with a lot of pushing from my lovely gf T. WHO just moved away to LA :( i will miss her because she is such an inspiration. So, I was going to go tonight but now that I have to see a client and do this blood stuff I will start Saturday. Perhaps I can convince J to come with me. He'll read this and laugh. Tomorrow is also the Kings of Leon concert, which I have tickets to but which I dont think I will attend. I can sell them for a pretty penny and then get C to get me some for madison square gardens in nyc on jan 31st. which is CLEARLY a better deal!!! So thats the situation with THAT. lol. I wonder who reads this blog and thinks I am crazy, either crazy or I have a weird life.
Also, I have an issue with chiropractic. I have been seeing a great chiro for about 2 weeks now, L. she is unreal but she is unreal as a person. Ever since I've seen her i think my back has gotten worse. Either that or im slouching too much. T says bikram will cure it all. So for now im going to cancel the chiro, book the yoga, and probably book the athletic therapist. Apparently my chinese doctor who is a genius also believes the raw food diet will cure all my woes. So I am about to embark on a transformation kiddos.
Now, this transformation kind of scares me. Only because everything in my life is changing pretty fucking fast. My job is changing, I'm going back to school, I'm moving, I'm changing personal relationships, my diet, my lifestyle, my daily life (seriously, im going to be waking up at 620 with my milf..well not WITH her..although I wonder if she's in to that, she likes D though and by D i mean P, bc she likes D from the gym and J so I better watch out for that hahaha ), so everything is changing and transforming. I will not however get a tattoo of a butterfly to commemorate this change. ew. I think the only tattoo id ever get would be of a word..one which I have tried to embrace my whole life, one which my father in Budapest has always said to me. He has ALWAYS said "Jacqueline, you have to have more faith in yourself" and I love him for it. He says it all the time because he knows how insecure I can get, how stressed I can get, and how doubtful I can get, how much I can doubt myself. So, the word I would have tattooed would be "Faith" and it would even be more of a tattoo for him too.
My father in Budapest is probably the MOST influential person in my life. He is also probably the one person who I rely on, look up to, respect, and love the most. He took me in, he adopted me, he loved me unconditionally, he has always been there, when I screwed up he always has a joke to make me feel better or a story to tell me, he's such a wonderful amazing person and I really miss him a lot since my parents moved back to Europe. Of course my mother is unreal as well, she's a hot piece too. I just really miss both of them.
Well, I just received a random text from a random person, well not that random, the same mysterious person I was talking about in a previous blog. Thats SOOOOO wierd. Like I said, they are not normal. Anyways, i wont reflect on it, i should probably go take that DAMN blood test UGH. i hate blood. i could never be a vampire (unless i was kate beckinsale from underworld she is HOT). see you in the movies...

Candy Apples and Barack Obama

Candy Apple season is upon us and let me say, I had a great caramel/penut covered one today from pusateris and it was DEEELISH. Considering my detox starts tomorrow (Cuz its wed remember?? lol) I decided to have one because by the time I am finished they wont be back until next year slash at the CNE but nothing beats a wholefoods/pusateris candycaramel apple. I feel like I should drive out to Acton and get some from that barn on the side of the road. That shits worth the drive to acton, forget about leather coats.
So right now I am watching Jon Stewarts coverage of the election it is probably the funniest thing I have seen. I have to say I am uber impressed at the voter turn out, I'm also so happy about it. We need changes now and so far Obama is leading by a lot so I hope it stays that way because the Republicans just really need to not be in power in the USA right now. Anyways, Jon Stewart and Obama are unreal. GO OBAMA YES WE CAN!!!! love him.
Today I saw an old friend of mine, who lives in the bldg that I used to live in, which I am now moving back in to (more about that later) and it was so good to see her. It's amazing how many great people I have in my life and I am so regretful for losing touch with them. I think along the way this year I kinda lost myself, and it was definitly not to stop and smell the roses. But, that being said I believe that this last week has really really shown me how much I need to change in my life. Like I said before, getting in to grad school has totally changed my perspective and once again I am so greatful...thank you Board of whoever chooses which applicates will be admitted! ahaha! anyways so I saw her and it was so nice to sit and chat and be able to hear the person I am talking to and have a conversation with someone who genuinly cares about me and what I have to say and not what I'm drinking and which afterparty I am going to. ANyways, i love the club life its great so much fun, but definitly time to move on.
Back to my point before, I signed the lease today!!!! Props to my realtor JS he was trying to convince me the whole time to go back to this bldg and I kept saying no no no but once again, since grad school offer it just makes so much more sense and its a great place and I am very happy with my decision. 10 days till I move and I can't believe its coming so quickly! But I ahhh I cannot wait I will definitly have a big house warming, a welcome back if you will!
Tomorrow morning I have to wake up at 5am to go to work for 6am, this bootcamp is killing me seriously. Its like my own bootcamp. I also have to get blood tests tomorrow which I am SO not looking forward to. ugh i hate it. Anyways better go to bed, have to be up in like 20 mins hahaha!

Last nights serenity blog

Just as an FYI to everyone who sent me confused messages. The serenity poem was posted for my friend who just recently went away for 30 days somewhere to get well, I am not an addict but I do support all my friends with their struggles, whatever they may be, and that post was specifically for them. That's it for now I am late for a very important date!!! Down the rabbit hole...

To all the struggling hearts out there...

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

FEIST! and grad school and LETS GO OBAMA!

okay so feist was UNREAL omg. she is SO amazing live seriously she sounds exactly the same if not better live as on cd! and she is SUCH a creative talent! wow! she had the most amazing light show going on with shadow makers or something doing things with a projector, paint, jewels, paper, paintings, etc. on the back of the stage it was SO unreal. I will post videos especially a great performance of 1, 2, 3, 4 which was probably the most colourful of the night! and My moon, my man, which was insane. she is my favorite! i want to be her friend. hahaha! i wish i could meet her again and not while im at some sketchy haunted house party so that i can actually speak to her about her talents, anyways it was crazy. I brought J and he thought it was great too! I am so happy I went to that concert I really needed that. So, today I was supposed to start Day 1 of my new life which was supposed to begin with my 620am wake up call from my new gym buddy aka milf, she woke up i however, went to bed at 4am and so that was not happening. I am hoping to start on Wednesday. I think Wednesday is a good day to start the new routine, after all the adams fam named their Kid after the day so there's gotta be something to it right? im talking out of my ass clearly. but seriously, i have to do this. its importante! in other news i found a place, same building as where I used to live a year ago so i am happy about that, i missed it especially in the winter months. everything is connected underground including the essentials outside my door literally: a movie theater, lcbo, valu mart, pharma plus, shoppers drug mart, underground pathway, STARBUCKS!!, indigo (helpful on saturday nights my reformed detoxing self will go read self help books about becoming more spiritual and less ill advised), and everything that underground has to offer! i am happy and thrilled that the search is finally over! I am going to make it my own and hole up there for the winter. Cannot wait.
So, I am going to start reading my Eckhart Tolle book again along with my David Wolfe text (its all part of the new plan) and it will include many a blog about my feelings on a new earth as well as raw food nutrition! lol. so look out for a plethora of information from this little girl.
Probably the biggest news of the last 24 hours is that I have actually been accepted in to U of T for graduate studies in fine art history. I applied last year had an interview, etc. but heard nothing from them till now so I had assumed along with my family that I was just not accepted, and due to all the things in my life that have happened this past year I just didnt follow up with them. Turns out i got in! So i am basically taking some time to figure out if I will go or not. its going to be a hard decision and will take me time to figure out but I can enroll for either January or September. OR i can accept and defer it for one year. I am trying to figure out what I would do with this masters. I guess it would be a research position, professor, historian, work at a museum or gallery, or own my own, or be a consultant. I love art so much and its something that interests me but to be honest the most exciting thing that has come from this offer is the idea that I have my whole life ahead of me. So many times I feel like I am getting so old and I have no time no time no time and despite all my older friends telling me how young I am and to relax, I still think omg I am growing up so fast no time! Well, after I got this offer I realized how silly that was when I thought about it. I have my WHOLE LIFE ahead of me and its going to be GREAT. so look out big world! hahah so cliche but so very true. So many things nowadays make me sad or regretful but this offer has just lit up my life, not only do a group of people think i am worthy to be in their school which is considered one of the best but maybe I am unique afterall, maybe I am talented and smart maybe I am all the things that I doubt about myself. Its given me a boost of confidence, a new outlook on life, and something to be super proud of. Anyways I am off to bed and will write more tomorrow I love this blog thing! hahaha. until then...LETS GO OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES WE CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the late night

Life is such a huge learning experience...but if its taught me one thing its that in the end, you will be okay. good days and bad days come all the time, but they never last. Also, for every high there is an equal low and that doesn't just go for drugs kiddies, hats for real life as well. For example, today i was happy and sad maybe 35 times each. So anyways I was just reflecting on that.
Well today i was supposed to clean and do copious amounts of laundry, which didn't happen. I ended up wandering the city with my ipod and an unreal earl gray and got home passed out on the couch and that was the end of that. I hate it because I wanted to clean but I had 0 energy for it. I will have to do it bit by bit this week. I am excited because Friday and Saturday is my best friend K's bday celebrations. One which includeds Karaoke, even though the last time we tried karaoke I was the only one singing! and it was Slave 4 u by britney spears (obvs i chose it) but a group of like 10 girls and i was the only one singing! so someone better bust out this time bc although i prefer a solo show id love some company people! lol. anyways so on saturday night we are going to Kultura for dinner and I have never been but heard its wonderful so that is also something to look forward too. i am hoping her bf brings this incredible rum cake he brought last year which was from the bahamas. Last year we had a great time at the Keg on her bday so this year will be a different date and a different place. and by date i mean guy, thats right. last year i went with a certain hockey player who is now in the NHL, I wonder how that guy is doing. Oh nostalgia is a funny thing, aint it!? Soooo I looked at a few condos today and I really like them so I am excited about that too =) and let me say once again, FEIST IS TOMORROW!!! So excited. I also start my one month long detox tomorrow and I am hoping to become a much healthier, zen, stable, fit, incredible person by the end of it!
So, I talked to my person today and by person I mean specific someone who's initial I will not even mention and I felt really sorry for this person. Which leads me to my next point, do people purposefully get you to pity them so that you feel sad for them and want to be in their life or are they just pathetic individuals who really are in bad places and can't help it and dont want pity but just a person to talk to? I am confused as to what to think/do with this person since we have a small history now and I dont want them out of my life but because of the events of late they kind of should be completely out of my life. Its just not that easy. Life is not easy. Dealing with this person is not easy. I wish this person was normal, well they are normal but maybe the situation made them seem very not normal. the situation along with things they have said slash how they have acted in social situations, awkward being the key word. Wow this post is so mysterious and very confusing, im just letting it all out without giving away who this person might be hahaha. I should make this blog private. slash maybe ill have a diary. dear diary, fuck you. i am so NOT a diary girl. I think in gr. 4 it was cool to have a diary with a lock on it and i had like 5. And i carried the key around lik ethe other girls and was like ohhh i have a locked diary, etc. wow companies are good at marketing. this is more like a blog that is a stream of conciousness dont you think? i mean if you are even reading this anyways.
SO back to my original point. So its already 1230am and I am supposed to wake up at 620am and call my new workout buddy to get to the gym by 7am but I dont think that is happening anymore, so ill have to say something like i slept through my alarm hahaha im such a bitch. i should have gone to sleep 2 hours ago. maybe ill go now and stop talking about mysterious individuals.
oh one more thing, the simpsons halloween tonight SUCKED. king of the hill was really funny though.

C'est L'Halloween!!!

So, everyone who knows me, know being actually knows me not just some random idiot in a club who says they know me, knows that i love coldplay. so i have to give them a shout out for the song Lost, I love it and its been added to my daily coldplay playlist that never shuts up in my condo! Speaking of condos, I am back on track...my wonderful realtor Jamie found me some more things in the hood/bldg i prefer so hopefully it works out please cross your fingers for me so that I can get out of this shit hole. Well, posh shit hole, but shit hole nonetheless! hahaha.
So, on to the order of the day...Halloween!!!! Last night was amazing, I had so much fun it was great and my outfit was Killaaahhhh if I do say so myself ;) In the words of my handsome friend Ryan, only I could pull off Britney Spears circa 97 in 08. It was hot. AND NOT Paris Hilton hot, it was more like Marissa Miller hot, especially since it is SHE who I will be channeling the next few months along side Allessandra of course! Anyways, So, I totally got my shoes for the night from Shoppers Drug Mart..I know, right? They are so hot (marissa marissa marissa). Red stripper boots full out platforms that MS and I stumbled upon in the strewn costume section, we only found one at first and OMG it fit! then we found the other one like at the other end of the store. They were sans tags and when i went to pay for my make up the girl totally didnt even notice. Can i get arrested for saying this on a blog? if i do im going to say that this blog belongs to someone else. lol. anyways so i had the hot boots, platform and all, threw on my new knee high socks from american apparel, the shortest ever black kilt i could find and a lovely white fitted button down. combine that with some pig tails, and the right make up. it was beauty. oh and I at first had a great tie made from a belt care of KP, until I went to J's house party and he thanksfully gave me one of his black ties! (thank you baby muah). MS was a pussycat doll/dominatrix/mma street fighter hahah who knows. we had a great time. stopped at J's first and got drunk off some wine and had my life made for me when his friends told me that I LOOK like britney spears. now, for all of you who really know me, it was for a good long while my lifes aspiration to look like that girl (pre breakdown) and therefore, I love J's friends and I love life right now. Thank you thank you thank you! So anyways, after that we headed to Atelier to see my good friend JS who was throwing the party there last night. After that I saw my two bff's J and K and then we headed to Century which was rammed, but thankfully we had a booth there and met up with the other girls along with a few bottles. Afterwords I met up with J again and headed back to his house. Was SUCH a fun night minus the two gross pieces of pizza i consumed in t minus 1 second at the end of the night hahahaha yuck! gym time no doubt slash liquid diet perhaps? Which brings me to my next point, its definitly time to detox. Tonight I not only attended the Leafs game, a hot tub party with my boys, but I also had time to see the movie Saw 5 which was terrible. DO NOT see it. sideline, I also got smashed out of my mind care of my dad who catered our lovely leafs box with food from Hy's. Steaks and wine at the hockey game? ha thanks dad! SO, back to detox. its time. It starts tomorrow and hopefully with the abs class I have to teach at 2pm. So everyone be on the FYI that Jacqueline is now a hermit who cleans her house, does her laundry, see's movies, and is in detox mode for about a month. works out too bc my mama is coming home on Nov 11th! details about that to follow for now the Shining is on and i LOVE this movie. love ya