Positivity

Today I had a great breakfast with a great person who I rarely am able to see, my uncle Peter. Peter is such an amazing man and someone who has helped me so much over the years with everything and by chance he called me this morning at 7am and we met at the 4 seasons for a very very early breakfast (8am is early!!!). Peter is an outstanding business man, someone who gives to charity all the time, and someone who supports me in everything I do. When he found out from my parents that I was going to be going back to grad school and back to Trinity, he said he had to call me the minute he got back to Toronto. So, we chatted over eggs benedict (bravo 4 seasons, u do a great job with the breakfast egg option) and talked about positivity. If anyone has been through all the ups and downs of life its Peter, well Peter and of course my Budapest father John. They are basically one and the same though. Peter came to Canada, just like John, with nothing, and made it in to something huge. He is now an extremely successful man and I have yet to meet someone who didnt know who he was. He talked about how he was worried about me for a little while, that I was so smart and getting off course from the dreams I had once expressed to him when I was 18 before I start university. Things about law school and going to Brown ( I declined Brown's offer of admission for undergrad in order to go to U of T) and etc. He told me that he felt the same as John, that I had no faith in myself or my capabilities and I was always so insecure and negative. He said that because of this I went off on a path that he did not believe was my own, but rather the one of those around me. We talked and talked and discussed so much about the impacts of being positive on your life and how sometimes you need to make decisions that although seem scary and terrifying at the time, will lead to better things in the long run. I told him that this past weekend I had made so many decisions and changes in my life that are extremely scary, things which included changing relationships with friends I have had for years, etc. and that I didnt really know what i was doing. I told him I was so scared and unsure and he caught me again. he said "why are you always so UNSURE of yourself J?" " why do you never have faith in your decisions and your hopes and dreams" and he was right. I know that all the decisions I have made, even in the last week, are going to lead to bigger, greater, more positive things, so why am I so scared? Comfortability can sometimes equal disaster. I am comfortable with my life now, even though it is/was the most unstable existence I could have. I have also been so negative and in order to attract positive things, people, jobs, experiences in to your life, you yourself must be a positive person. Thats the law of attraction. Its funny because my mother, who just arrived to Canada for a visit to help me move, was also saying the same thing to me on the phone yesterday. Positivity breeds and attracts positivity. Also people with faith in themselves, with no negative thoughts, no doubts, no insecurities, must lead more fulfilling lives. Imagine every decision you made, you never second guessed. I am going to try to be more positive and less unsure of myself. I have now made these decisions and I really can't take any of them back. In making some of the decisions the past few days I have burned bridges, ones that can never be rebuilt but ones that would only ever eventually lead to negative things in my life. I am looking forward to building new bridges which will ultimately lead to great things. I want to live a great life, not a mediocre existance. Finding purpose, finding happiness, being positive, having faith in myself and my life, having faith in those around me, is most important. My mother is the most positive person you could meet and she has been to hell and back. she constantly attracts so much positive energy and people to her and its because of her attitude. Even negative people want to be around her to feel better about themselves. I hope, no i KNOW that one day, I will be the same.
I am so lucky to have all these great people around me, rooting for me, supporting me, telling me how proud they are no matter what. Now, if only I could support myself as well. This is my new focus and what I am going to try to work on everyday. Negative thoughts be gone! Insecurities out the window and self doubt will no longer exist. I have to have faith. But, I still will not get a tattoo devoted to it hahaha. Now, I am off to do some bikram yoga (very self empowering) and go have a lovely dinner with a lovely lady, my anyu!